Sunday, July 6, 2008

Thoughts From Melody

Hello and welcome to this site.

For several years I’ve been promising reconstruction. I intended to begin the changes as soon as I recovered from my back surgery (I had two artificial discs implanted in my lower spine at the Alpha Klinik in Munich, Germany). However, as soon as I was functioning again, that still, small voice told me to go see my mom.

I found her almost dead.

I had tried before to intervene at my brother’s urging. I went to all the city and county agencies I could find but none could help. Now, after a few rounds in court, I was appointed her co-Guardian and Conservator. For the past two years, I’ve been flying from California to Minnesota monthly to care for Mom. She passed on September 6, 2007, at the age of 93. By then, we’d come full circle—from a family so sick that it gave birth to Codependent No More to a family where I found real love.

Now, it’s time to upgrade this site and get back to writing. Here are some ideas about what to expect:

You’ll be able to find information on Codependent No More, but without so much “codependency” thrown in. Some of you may remember the first editions of Codependent No More. The book jackets were in bright yellow, red, and black. I’ve heard they sell for up to $400 on E-Bay, but I don’t have any left. When I wrote Codependent No More, in 1986, the world hadn’t heard about concepts like taking care of yourself, setting boundaries, detachment, letting go. The words weren’t concepts talked about openly, everyday, like they are now. I’ll write about the behaviors associated with the word “codependency,” but I’m not going to label you—or me—Codependent Anymore.

We’re so familiar with the word now that many people have attached stigma, or shame, to Codependency. “It means someone is a raving, stalking psycho,” some people say. “It means I’m clingy, needy, and if you come near me, I’ll suck the soul out of you,” others warn.

I say it means we’re human. It’s normal to try to control someone, when that person is doing something that hurts him or her, and our relationship. It’s normal to have low self-worth if we lived in a family that told us we weren’t worth much. Codependency is so normal that from 1986 to now, “dysfunctional” and “family” have come to mean the same thing. While some families are more loving than others, all families have problems. All people have issues. It’s not “us” and “them.” It’s “we.” I’ll write about behaviors that can become painful when we cross the line from normal to codependent, but there will be little or no name-calling here--just information, hope, and options instead.

I won’t be offering my services as a non-codependency coach, either. You can get information here for free. I won’t be selling books directly from this site—but you can go to Hazelden or Amazon through the Library section on my home site and buy any books you want from them.

You’ll find tests, interactive discussions, and information about MUCH MORE than codependency. What about those times when care-taking is the thing to do—like when I took care of my mom? It’s hard when the roles switch, or when a parent becomes ill, has Alzheimer’s, or dies. Look for a section on that. Look for a section on grief and loss. The more I learn about codependent behaviors, the more I understand that much of codependency is loss. Maybe I should say the more I learn about life and loss, the more I know that the behaviors associated with codependency are normal grief behaviors. Ever heard the term “insane with grief?” It’s more than a cliché. It’s what happens when we lose something or someone we love. It’s part of how we get through experiences too overwhelming to endure.

“God never gives us more than we can handle,” people say, the words dripping off their lips like butter. “Yes, God does,” I think. There are times we’re so overwhelmed we consider ending our lives. Life is a rich journey with ups and downs--but some of those downs flatten us to the floor. You’ll learn how to hang around long enough to let Life offer it’s hand and help you get back on your feet.

You’ll find sections on this site that have nothing to do with therapy, too. I’ve found so many bad deals—and a handful of good deals—that I’m going to have a “thumbs up, thumbs down” section to share what I find. These are my personal opinions. But I think that many of you will agree that the good deals are good deals. They’ll save you money; many are products or businesses I wish someone would have told me about years ago. I’m not making any money or getting a kickback by telling you about them. I’m recommending them the way I’d tell a friend about a good deal.

I’m also including “Lighten Up,” a section about weight loss. Weight Loss products are one of the top-selling games and gimmicks (and rip-offs) right now. I don’t know why we’ve either a) gained so much weight en-mass; or b) become so obsessed with being thinner, but we have. Including me. My hope is to help you avoid some expensive products that don’t work, stay away from diets that are downright dangerous, and find healthy, quick ways to shed extra pounds while understanding that life isn’t One Size Fits All. It would be exhausting to carry around a twenty-five pound block—but that’s what we’re doing when we’re that much overweight.

What else? Living with Hepatitis C, AIDS, or another chronic disease. Living with ourselves and with people we love. I’ll talk about my books, too. I don’t do many speaking engagements anymore, but when I do—I’ll post my itinerary and let you know where I’m going to be. If you’d like your book signed, you can mail me a self-addressed, stamped envelope and I’ll sign a bookplate and mail it right back to you. A bookplate is a large sticker you can paste inside your book so you can get it autographed without paying extra postage.

I’m going to pull chapters out of my books and have them on the site. You won’t be able to download them (there are copyright laws; publishers have rules and writers deserve to be paid for their work), but you can read the chapter and we’ll have a discussion about it. I’ll choose four questions each month to answer, and post those answers—and other discussions we have about that chapter. Then, in four or six weeks, that chapter will be removed and I’ll put another chapter up and we’ll talk about that.

We’ll do polls too—so we know what we’re thinking and feeling. Seems like many of us have lost our voice.

Speaking of voices, when we figure out more about doing talks on the site, you’ll be able to come to a “Melody Beattie lecture” by turning on your computer. Some will be for free; some will cost.

You’ll find an area of the site called “Chew on That.” There, we’ll have some favorite recipes—and a special surprise I’ve been working on for months. (Many of you will say it’s the best surprise you’ve ever had. But you’ll have to be patient, wait, and then you’ll see. I promise it’ll be worth the wait.)

There will be pictures (of me, my life, my family and friends), and links to sites I find helpful, interesting, or fun. We’ll tackle some sensitive subjects, such as the positive side of pain-killing drugs and politics. I’ve even found a treatment center for chemical dependency that treats people for free.

Likely you won’t agree with me on everything, but you will find new material. This time it’s not a promise. The time for change is here.

My best,

Melody Beattie

122 comments:

Deborah said...

I have learned so much about myself from reading your books and I eagerly await more information.

Jennifer Griffin-Wiesner said...

I've only recently discovered your wonderful writing though I am a long-time fan of Hazelden publications. So glad to see this site up and running!

paulina said...

oh, my god miss melody!
i have been looking for you!!!
i have hep c and have tried desperately to speak with lloyd wright personally and am getting nowhere.
my friend did the documentary, silence is deadly. randy, who started caring ambassadors, did the interferon treatment after nine years of alternative medicine.
i would love to talk to you and lloyd. if what he is saying is true, i want to get it out there!
natalie cole just came out with the news she has it and is being treated. have you seen the dvd?
love to you and all you do!
paulina

Braveheart said...

I so look forward to the information and inspiration posted on this site.
I am, at five years sober, hitting an emotional bottom and feel detached and lost. The emotional bottom erupted at the loss of a very meaningful and significant relationship in my life. This man abandoned me both physically and emotionally after his last words on the phone were "I love you, I'll talk to you later." That was June 15. It is my dark night of the soul, and at times I feel as if I'm walking (or rather trying to run) along the bottom of the deep-end of a pool. I'm not feeling very brave lately. I was abandoned as a child and this recent event has me experiencing flashbacks and a grief I don't think I have known. But I pray to a God of my understanding that more will be revealed, and in this leg of my journey I become the woman I was always meant to be.

Sara said...

I look forward to visiting often and collaborating in the future, and "chewing" on subjects. Thank you for you.


~S

lbeattie said...

My second son passed away 5 years ago and I have been on quite the journey ever since. It has been a time of tumult and chaos for me spiritually, emotionally and physically. I am so grateful that you have chosen to use your gift and experience to help those of us newer to the journey perhaps. Right now Finding Your Way Home is my lifeline and inspiration to achieving the life my son would expect me to live.

parisangel said...

This past year has tested my strength and recovery as a co-dependant. I have admitted once again that I am in another "wrong" relationship. Your books have been on my bookshelf collecting dust, but now they are back in my hands. I can't stop reading them over and over. Recovery is a life long process and I thank you for being my partner on this journey.

Tami said...

I am so excited you have started this. Your books have helped me through the most difficult times of my life. By the way I have the yellow, black and red copy of, "Co-Dependent No More", what's left of it anyway after many, many reads. Thank you so much for sharing your experiances in life with the world, you have helped many. I still pick up and reread many of your books, we all need a reminder once in a while that we're not crazy. :)

Michelle F said...

Hi Melody. We met a couple of times in Minnesota. Was very inspired by your writing for many years; had a mutual aquaintance -- Emmy -- who I knew through Hazelden's website years ago. Lost contact with her after she moved to Calif and back.

It's good to read about your health progressing. I've just been diagnosed with breast cancer, had a double mastectomy and begin chemo on the 21st. My mom and I experienced a prolonged death with my 90 yr old grandfather that had a similar feeling to your memorial tribute. Your words still speak to so many souls -- situations differ, but feelings build common bonds. Would love to check in here over the upcoming months as I, too, focus on healing my body, accepting a life-threatening illness and re-instating all the principles I've learned along the way through recovery, spirituality and the sharing of our stories as women. I'm a single mom to a 3 yr old; I have so much to live for and am -- again -- entering another new chapter in life. Found my way back to this website by chance tonight. We're heading out to L.A. Friday for 5 days (taking my son to Disney before my chemo treatments begin), then heading up to Santa Monica and Malibu. Always associate you with that city now, since Stillwater is a place of a long ago past. Feel my own tears welling up as I think of how often I’ve let go…and continue to do so once again…

It’s good, however, to hear you're healing and that the Hep C and liver are so much better. It's encouraging because I must focus on changes this year. It's not easy to accept, but then not much that comes in the form of challenges or loss of dreams ever is. Like you, however, I seem to find my way through -- and will again. This would be a great site to incorporate into my healing, especially on the days I'm weak, bald and pretty much confined to home. Bless you for all that you've shared...and for what you continue to offer through such a personal glimpse into loss and love and life.

Michelle F

JustMe said...

I am just getting started at age 45 learning about all of this after just being released from a psych center for depression. I'm hoping to learn a lot. It has been suggested (by two Psychiatrists and three Counselors) that I leave my job(Due to codependency).
I've heard the term often, but have never sat down to learn about it. I've been employed at the same place for 17 years and it is breaking my heart to think I may have to leave, but it is true - I am way codependent and work myself to death...

So, I've purchased "Codependent No More" and I'm ready to get started reading although most often than not I find it extremely difficult to get through a page of anything without reading it six times...

Thank you for the life line!

joghall said...

Letting Go - via your book - day by day. I've had this book almost 20 years, and nothing works as well to help me cope with codependency behavior. I'm in classes with Echo - Between your books and her classes, life is a wonderful ride.

Fran said...

Melodie, I want to extend my deepest condolences for the loss of your mother. I also want to express my deepest gratitude to you for breaking a path through life for me. You have given me the courage and strength to face addiction, grief, and unhealthy relationships without running away or creating more pain. Please keep sharing. God Bless you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Love and friendship, Fran Frost

Michelle F said...

Visiting back again. Back from California; had my first chemo treatment...and feeling the effects, unfortunately. This is a difficult time and I've retrieved one of my most cherished books by Melody to help me through -- "Journey to the Heart." It's a soft, poetic, comforting meditation book that simply reminds me to let go and to embrace life's magic along the journey. At a time when so much looks negative to me, the positive words -- without the baggage of intellectualizing or analysis -- is exactly what I need. I've never yet been disappointed in the gifts that are tucked within our experiences as we tenderly say goodbye to certain dreams and open to the possibility of others. Thanks, Melody for reminding us that even in the face of death we can do that. I hope this new site is a welcome place for all who gather. I'll continue to check back.

Shinette said...

Melody....Thank you. You have become one of my dearest friends. Though we've never met in person, you have been there for me year after year...book after book. With every stage of life that I'm in, you've been 10 steps ahead....paving the way and holding my hand (and sometimes my head above the water level) through it all. I'm looking forward to reading your latest book. As always, it comes into my life just as I'm in need of it. Thank you, dear friend, for sharing yourself with us. You have healed so many. Blessings, love and light are yours.

Shinette said...

Melody....Thank you. Even though we have never met, I consider you one of my best friends. Your inspirational books have seen me through my personal obstacles year after year, book after book. I look forward to reading your latest publication very soon. As usual, you are 10 steps ahead of me and paving the way. Your kind and loving words along with your lived experiences hold my hand (and sometimes my head above water) every step and stumble of my personal path. Thank you for sharing yourself and lighting our paths. Blessings, love and light are yours.

Shinette said...

sorry....blogging is new to me...I wasn't aware that the first comment posted....so I tried to retype from memory....not bad ;o)

raym.pcl58 said...

what a great lady, and am excited to read and check in on a regular basis ~ a quick question to the group, in therapy a number of years ago we practiced the communication tool "feedback loop" - I had thought is was attributed to Melody's writings, however, I can't seem to track down the book she might have explained that in ~ anyone ever hear of that, if so, any reference would be appreciated ~

jeffrey said...

JEFFREY LEVIN SAID.....

DEAR MELODIE,

I FOUND THE "LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO" WONDERFULLY HELPFUL INITIALLY 20 YEARS AGO WHEN MY WIFE BECAME GENETICALLY ALCOHOLIC.
YOUR MESSAGE ABOUT WALKING MY OWN PATH IS ONE I TOOK TO HEART AND STILL AM LIVING OUT, THOUGH I AM STILL MARRIED.

I HAVE LEARNED TO LOVE MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY, AND LOVE OTHERS WHO CAN ACCEPT LOVE, AND TO DETACH FROM THOSE WHO DON'T HAVE THIS CAPABILITY. IT WAS A TOUGH LESSON, BUT ONE THAT I HAVE LEARNED IN THE TRUE CHOICE TO HONOR MYSELF AND FOR THE SAKE OF SANITY.

I AM IN MY SIXTIES, STILL VIBRANT, AND HAVE A 21 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WHO THINKS SHE CAN FIX A BOYFRIEND WHO SPENT SIX MONTHS IN JAIL FOR SPITTING AT A STEWARDESS ON AN AIRLINE.
I INTEND TO MAIL HER A COPY OF THE "LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO" AND TO BE AS SUPPORTIVE OF HER, AS YOU WERE OF ME, EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T KNOW ME PERSONALLY.

KEEP BEING THE AUTHENTIC PERSON YOU ARE, EVER CHANGING, EVER GROWING.

WITH APPRECIATION AND LOVE, JEFF LEVIN

democritter said...

Melody - your insights mean a lot to many people. When will you update the blog?

Petey's mom said...

I agree with Democritter. I too continue to look at your website hoping for some updates. We'd love to hear more from you. Thanks

Cheyne said...

I just thank you. You are committed to the continuation of a journey, and that is so inspiring.
PS I am currently reading Choices and it rocks. Oddly enough, I kinda always assumed it meant human! But I have heard the negative hype as well!

Louise said...

Melody, We share so much in common.
I have just read some of your Grief Club Book online and know I have finally found someone who can put words to this journey . My 11 year old daughter, was killed riding her bike in May 2000 and what followed was divorce,despair and and a drinking problem. I lost my faith and hope,and felt dead inside. Like you, I read books,but they were just words on paper,they spoke to my head but not my heart. My days became crazy workathons, my evenings washed down with wine.I remarried a year ago, but the craziness continued.I was shaking my fist at God,and was tired and angry.I blamed everyone for everything,and then turned on myself.
A friend left your CoDependancy No More book in my mailbox, and though i had skimmed over it a few years ago,and put it on a shelf,this time I read it and knew I had to do something different. Nothing could change if I was drinking everyday so,
seven weeks ago, I dragged myself into an AA meeting,but of course I wasn't an alcoholic,how could I be? I had a very successful career, impressive home,new husband etc etc.It didn't take long to realize that I had found a room filled with people who cared and understood me.I stopped comparing and started listening. I read everything they put in my hands, and identified over and over again. The madness has stopped. There is sadness and fear but also moments of joy,and with that joy, a return of hope. I know that there is a long road ahead of me,but for today I am so grateful and wanted to share that with you.

Looking4Me said...

Hi Melody - and others who read this. As a woman who recently separated from her husband, lost her job, lost her house (that I paid for) in order to clean up financial the wreckage created by deceit, and is now pretty much on her own with 2 small kids (he's an active father)- I am very much looking forward to the "Coming Attractions" mentioned... No, I'm counting on them. Thank you so much for the "Insane with grief" comment ... I was there for about 4 weeks straight. The light came on and I see how my anger was at myself, not him. I see how, for the past decade, I loved him more and treated him better than I did myself. I mission now is to discover myself and again. I'm very excited for the upcoming journey! Thank you for writing!!

Katiiyp said...

Look forward to hearing your perspective on dealing with Chronic diseases/disorders. There is a community out there that would benefit tremendously from reading what you have to say. My 11 year old son has a bleeding disorder, I knew NOTHING about Hemophilia at the time of diagnosis...It was a shocking, painful time. There are many other parents going through that time and with your words may get through it in a much healthier way. Good Luck!

Jmmy WHO HAA said...

ribs for kids kids for ribs...hope you had safe travels. looking for a great food recipies for muffins...thinking about what you said any good bbq ribs aound...this is history in the making...Who Haa!!!
Jimmy...Lemon Tree!!!

theotherbed said...

Melody,
I am leading a COSA meeting on Oct. 6, and then I am speaking at an S conference not too long thereafter. My topic is "not being enough". My second favorite topic, and I hope to integrate the two, is "trusting ourselves". Is there any chance you might comment on these topics?
Thank you for all your inspiration thus far.

patty.h said...

melonie, I have been waiting for this re- consrtuct forever it seems. Perfect timing however.
I have read all your books and you are such a part of my life.
Journey to the heart is my fav.
The binding is held together with duck tape. it has been with me for years.
Thank- You !
I AM EXCITED FOR US ALL.
CONDOLANCES TO YOU I HOPE YOU COMPLETED YOUR LOSS PROCESS.
SINCERELY
PATTY H

Patty said...

Thanks for saying that God does sometimes give us more than we can handle. PS I found one of those "older" copies of LOLG at a garage sale and passed it on to a friend.

chasingthesound said...

Melody - You Rock!

you friend,

Ken in MN

IowaRodeoMom said...

I was so happy to find your site. My lawyer told me to read your book and I am doing so. I want more so I thought I'd see if you had a web site and here you are. Look forward to it.

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democritter said...

Maybe Melody is indirectly testing our mettle - with the promise and hope of a blog, a place for those of whose lives have been enriched because of Melody's work and her writing gift, poised and happy to participate in this site, but to find that it's gone without update or comment for four months. Perhaps it's our test of self-sufficiency, self-reliance, self-care. Any thoughts? I'm trying not to be disappointed.

abc said...

Thanks you for having this site. Your commitment and knowledge are a gift to all. You have helped me so much, and I look forward to this continued aid. It feels like home. Thank you, thank you, thank you to such a wonderful person.

Rose

JAMES said...

Dear Melody, I started my recovery from alcoholism in 1983. Your books, "Co-Dependent" and "Co-Dependent No More" were EXTREMELY instrumental in my recovery, along with Scott Peck's "The Road Less Traveled", the text book from A.C.O.A. and, of course, "The Big Book" of A.A. Your books were #2 only after "The Big Book". I was asked by one of the people I have helped to his own recovery from over-eating to write a book about recovery. He bought a computer and printer for me, so I did. I want to send a copy of my book to you. Could you please e-mail a physical address where I can send my book to you? My hope is that my book will be as helpful to others who still suffer as your books were and continue to be to me. God bless you, Melody. Please look up the web sites that my publisher created for me: www.Xlibris.com/Yuhasz.html and www.Xlibris.com/JourneyToFreedom.html With gratitude and love, James F. Yuhasz,Sr. 3113 Cortez Rd. W., Lot #69, Bradenton, Fl 34207 donnasdaddy@yahoo.com

Deborah said...

Maybe we are suppose to support each other until the time is right for Melody to bring her website online. In addition to Melody's books I also get inspiration from NA, Alanon and AA recovery books. What does everyone else think?

Deborah

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motivatordan said...

Thank you for walking on my life's Journey for the lat 11 years. Your book Journey to the Heart has been a great source of inspiration!

daniel

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Deborah said...

Wow, I inadvertently opened a can of worms. My apologies to everyone.

Mr. David, I see a great deal of similarities between the Bible and the concepts of the twelve step programs. Twelve step meetings were a God-send to me at a time when I could not stop using.

At any rate, Melody’s blog is not a site, I believe, for ranting and ravings. Just a simple place to state your message of hope. I am sorry you do not find hope in recovery-oriented meetings or literature. May God bless you.

Deborah

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A Single Girl in the Midwest said...

Thank you. Thank you for giving me back my heart.

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MICHAEL PATRICK said...

ONLY ONE WAY TO GOD - JESUS CHRIST!!

dobie said...

Mrs. Beattie,

I used to work the alc/drug rehab field and have been enjoying some of your books.

I was reading your book adn thinking about definations of co-dep and a thought came to mind i would like to share. It is a simple idea that seems to help me.

co dep is allowing others choices to determine my mood, attitude, self-esteem and serenity. Remembering this helps me to keep my power and understand that many things i cannot change, but i can control my response to much that could be disturbing.

thanks

dobie schultz

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yukongone said...

Whoa....what's with Mr. Patrick? This is a healing site sir, surely your rhetoric could find a home better suited to your own beliefs?
Peace.

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raym.pcl58 said...

And for me, Micky IS THE reason I never set foot in a church (for an organized service), or have anything but contempt for organized religious affliations. And for me, my 12-step groups are the only place I feel comfortable with prayer and HP, because the people in those rooms are honest, have integrity and are real. Micky is just like my parents the fakest person you could ever meet.

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democritter said...

Does this site not have a webmaster? Ms. Beattie seems to have lost interest back in July 08.

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Deborah said...

Ms. Beattie has a new book out.

I've attached a link to an article I found about it for those interested:

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/accent/content/accent/epaper/2009/01/06/a1d_melody_web_0106.html

It also addresses her website.

Deborah said...

sorry the link was cut short in the previous message:

Here is the complete link.


http://www.palmbeachpost.com/accent
/content/accent/epaper/2009/01/06/
a1d_melody_web_0106.html

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democritter said...

Micky,

Clearly, you are a nut job.

Squawk all you want. Attack me for writing this email all you want. It's official: All of Crazy Micky's posts hereto forward will be considered entertainment and nothing further.

So Micky, please go ahead with your loony bluster while we laugh.

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Lynn said...

Visiting your new site for the 1st time recently my immediate response was "oh no! where's all that wonderful, inspiring, life altering stuff that was on the previous site?". (See how I managed to make it about ME in under 3secs?!) Read Zen Blog today, however, and immediately subscribed. "Codependent no More" is what started my journey, your various writings have so often helped along the way. Thank you that you will continue to do so.
Lynn, South Africa

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Carol said...

Dear Mickey,

I deleted my comments because I'm not following this site anymore. Melody has pursued other interests, at least for now.

I did not delete my comments because of you. I believe you are highly intelligent and most likely a good person at heart. I hope God blesses you and I wish you peace.

Carol

Micky said...

Thank you, Carol!

Peace Be With You

Micky

Katie said...

I am so grateful that you and your books were put in my life. I am a recovering addict and after working my program for several years, I was still searching for more. Your CoDependency Books and the Guide for 12 Steps, made all the previous work I did come together. You are a soft place to land each day and an awakening I will always embrace and be grateful for....
Katie Bottoms

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Micky said...

Dr Dobson states that if you have started this practice of Melody’s, REPENT, REPENT, and REPENT.

Burn the book, ask for forgiveness, call your lover, ask again for forgiveness, call a new counsellor, and follow God’s teaching, save your relationship, your life and your partner’s life.

Do it now! This is an emergency! Do it Gods way and have the best marriage and relationship you can have.

You are not sick or Co-dependent if you are in total love and you are worried and concerned for your lover.

No, this is what love is all about. Women, if you have kids, are they not on your mind all day, do you not conform your life to fit theirs, do you not worry, do you not make your schedule to fit theirs, are you not their caretaker and are you not emotionally dependent on them loving you.

Are you going to detach from them? NO! Well the same goes for your spouse and God. Love is being committed and giving it your all and loving for your God and your spouse. That is what God preaches, follow Him, not Melody.

In a 1997 interview Beattie reveals more of her "New Age spirituality" by erroneously comparing the holiness of the crucifixion with the "holiness" of human despair.

She stated: "The crucifixion has become one of the holy places, but I'm sure it didn't feel all that holy going through it. But he (Jesus) took his pain and made it count for something. (She mocks holy as if it is nothing, blasphemy) He owned his power within that situation, he did what he wanted to do and he handled it creatively. That night when we bottom out on drinking and we've never hated ourselves so much, that's a holy place. That day when we're ready to blow our brains out because he won't change and does something differently so we can be happy, and someone says why you don’t you try Al-Anon, it becomes a holy place."

To describe Christ’s plan of salvation as a creative exercise in overcoming pain and then compare it to people struggling with their sinful nature is nothing short of blasphemy.

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Micky said...

The Only Church That Christ Established Is The Catholic Church.
"He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved, but he that believeth not shall be condemned." [Mark 16:16].

littlegirllost said...

Thank you very much for your writing. You have helped me in more ways than you will ever know. I have started a blog just for my letters i will never mail. It helps to see how back and forth my minds goes and keeps me on track.

Ania said...

Dearest Melody,

I want to Thank You So, So Much for helping Me get MY POWER back.

Your book, "Stop Being Mean to Yourself," was the Best book I ever read. It's messages spoke directly to My Spirit. The book, which I stumbled upon, I now realize came from My Spirit. I wanted You to know how Your work has helped me tremedously shift in a positive direction. I'm truly inspired and transformed by your message. I appreciate and Thank you in being a presence in my miracleous healing. Much Love, Peace and Success, Ania.

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Peace love Tina said...

Thank you. I found you 5 years ago. In a bookstore ofcourse. I was sick, in dispair. I was told on an interview for a job I had "no personality". What????

After reading a few of your books, I practiced what I read. I am now a youth director in a church. Went on a missions trip. I got a divorce. Most of all, I got faith, hope and love for myself.

If I can't love me, who can?
So, Thank you for your heart for us. To write, share, and give insight to us that are bound and blind.

Lots of love,
Tina

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ohokifer said...

God knows when people really do need help with codependency. It has no boundary. Many of my friends tell me that codependency is somehow already in people nature since primitive age.

It is quite interesting though to see all this comments on this blog. It reminds me of some of my own friends that have this kind of symptom towards their local surroundings, family, co-workers etc.

Just hope to see they all recovering from the unwanted symptom of codependency by having the right treatment.

One of my suggestion is that you read this "http://www.codependencybooks.com">codependency books
to solve your problem with this symptom.

erlineher said...

Melody,

You and me share the same problem. Maybe it's best for you to search for people that you personal can trust and talk about this.

lightbright7 said...

Thanks for letting us know about Hazelden book. Both my girlfriend and I seem to have co-dependency issues. We've been looking for some good books or websites to get some insight into this issue.

Caryl said...

Hi Melody,
Years ago I had some meditation tapes of your that helped me a great deal-I remember there was mention of a garden and spending time there. I would like to locate the tapes again to pass along because they relaxed me. I did buy Finding Your Way Home's tapes with guided imagery but those aren't the ones. Can you let me know how to get that meditation/guided imagery tape. Thank you, Caryl